FOR MY SOUL

 

It never happened before. Its occurrence gave me many thoughts. Thoughts that worried me. Worry about losing what I loved the most. I had been trying to write a poem. A poem which was more of an elflock decorated in some corner of my messed up life, a corner which had him, a corner that sheltered him. Yes, the poem was for him.

Annoyed and irritated on my inability to complete that poem, I made my self some tea and dragged my body to the balcony. My lips kissed the hot rim of the cup and then with that one sip which wasn't only a sip but satisfaction that hugged my soul. My eyebrows gently relaxed and uncurled. A psithurism gently brushed my tangled hairs and my eyes were still shut. This ethereal feeling just threw to a place, far off. I was so lost that I couldn't even sync my hand which had the cup with the lips that waited for yet another sip. Eyes opened, and opening them wasn't a choice but a necessity. My eyes then helped  my lips to reach the cup yet again. I turned and glanced at the other chair. Yes, he was there. Wasn't doing anything but had his eyes closed and was humming a song.

"Ek pyaar ka nagma hai… mauzon ki rawani hai… 

zindgi aur kuch bhi nahi … Teri Meri Kahani hai…" he continued singing this.

"Will you please shut up!!" I screamed.

"Hey.. relax!" "What happened dude?" He asked.

I couldn't scream this time but I wanted to. His tone, his voice, his words never fail to make me feel vulnerable. Vulnerable to selcouth care and love that had no other master but only him.

"Had been trying to write a poem for you. But I am unable to complete it. In fact, I don't even like it. I wrote many lines but deleted them. I don't know why but writing a poem for you has turned so difficult for me. Uugh … it's irritating when you have something half-done and it's even more irritating when you realize that your work isn't satisfying."

"Buddy … calm down, man. First, tell me why are you writing something for me. There is n number of topics out there, grab them and ace them. Why do you have to write for me?" He somehow tried to pacify me.

"Cause I need to tell you.." I tried to answer him.

"Tell me what?" He interrupted.

" I love you." My eyes were moist.

He came to me. His eyes fixed on mine, something that made me uncomfortable.

"So finally... You realized that you love me. Okay… but now just show me your half-written poem" he said.

I handed him that piece of poem. He read it and smiled.

"What? I know it's not good. It didn't even satisfy me in the first place and am sure you are also unsatisfied with it" I mumbled.

"Okay, buddy see. First of all, your realization that you love me gave me what I wanted. Everyone in this world has someone like me in their life. You know the way you have me. They keep running behind people and try hard to please them, they try harder to love them. But by the time they realize that for them someone like me means so much more than anyone else, it's almost their end. I am a part of you, am your soul. And I need you to love me. Every soul needs to be loved by their possessors. Because we are a part of you, because we are you" he paused and I kept staring at him, this time I wasn't uncomfortable though. He continued.

"And thank you dear for this half-written poem. Well, you indeed failed to satisfy me. But you know what, the day you satisfy your soul is the day it leaves you."

He then went back to his chair. I kept looking at him. Yes, he is a part of me. He needs to be loved by me. He needs me and my time. I need myself and my time. I fell in love with my soul that day.

I started singing the same song for him, or should I say I sang it for my soul.

"Ek pyaar ka nagma hai… mauzon ki rawani hai…

Jindgi aur kuch bhi nahi…. Teri Meri Kahani hai…"

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